humor · life

dear canada

Hello, eh?

You Canadians are sensible people, right? You’re bright, well-mannered, helpful, a perfect neighbor. So would you do us all a big favor and invade America? Seriously, send your armed forces, by land and by sea, and save us from the bloated misfit in the White House (located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC  20500 — you can’t miss it). We’d really appreciate your assistance.

Come on, you’ve dealt with that blowhard. You know he’s nuts. He goes around scaring me and everyone else with his wild ranting and unhinged threats and trashy friends. The guy is not only a danger to society, he’s ruining the country.

America used to be a nice place, remember? We had our problems, sure, but we were decent folks just doing our best to get by. We got along with people. We had allies. Then Sideshow Don colluded with the Russians, the election was hacked, and, well, you know the rest. It’s been nothing but disaster and chaos and disgrace after disgrace after disgrace ever since.

Trump is either repealing thoughtful policies and / or looting the place, those are his only two strategies. We’re now, for all intents and purposes, his own personal country club, where he decides who is worthy and who isn’t. Pfft, like he’d know. Without swift and effective intervention, Trump is on course to bankrupt the U.S., morally and financially, drive us to the brink of civil war, and then skip away scot-free. The damage will take decades, maybe centuries, to repair.

Please, Canada, I’m begging you, send your Army Guys.

Sincerely yours,

the whirly girl

copyright © 2018 the whirly girl

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