humor · life

economic theory from a swimsuit model

Way back when, before the GOP controlled the world, before money was the end all and be all, people were basically decent. The field of medical research offers dramatic proof in the person of Jonas Salk, the guy who developed the first effective polio vaccine. Such an achievement was, by all standards, mind-blowing. What elevates his accomplishment to noble is the fact he chose not to patent it.

The dude walked away from an estimated $7 billion. When he was asked why he hadn’t patented his discovery, Salk responded with, ‘could you patent the sun?’ That, right there, illustrates the alarming cultural shift toward fiscal Darwinism and survival of the wealthiest. My little theory isn’t limited to pharmaceuticals, it’s in practice everywhere.

Life’s necessities — little things such as an education, doctor visits, childcare, toilet paper, ATM fees — are priced extortionately high. They have us by the short hairs and they know it. So by the time we’re done paying for basic essentials, there’s nothing left for discretionary spending on items like clothes and shoes, manicures. Could that be why retailers — malls, in general —  are having so much difficulty staying open?

The economy isn’t shrinking, income distribution is.

Yes, this is a sweeping generalization, totally simplistic, but considering the crap that gets passed off as fact these days, it’s watertight evidence of a vast right-wing conspiracy. Hell, Trump calls himself a ‘details-oriented person’ and a ‘pretty smart guy.’ Calling myself an economist and a bitchin’ swimsuit model is not just reasonable, it’s dead accurate.

Stop laughing.

copyright © 2017 the whirly girl


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