humor · life

a great, great post

No, the best post. A tremendous post. The smartest, classiest post ever posted anywhere by any poster.

People always ask how I became such a star, and I am a big, big star, they want to know the secrit to my incredible success. It’s the superlatives. Their fantastic. I use them all the time. There the best words, so much better than other so-called words used for writings. Believe me, no one loves writing more than me. Big fan, tremendous fan of writing.

Face it, I’m a trailblazer, I blaze trails. My way is the best way. Grammer and spelling are dumb waists of time, total losers. All the best experts, totally incredible people, agree and say I have the grammer skill of a fifth grader! Can you believe it? Fifth grade! That’s the grade everyone wants and I’ve got it.

Billions of readers visit my posts. Trillions. The numbers are unpresidented. It’s just a huge swarming crowd of adoring folks every day, they love me. They wership me. I have more readers than any one ever in history. But the stats are fake, so rigged, found out my wires tapped! Pathetic. So sad. I won and they didn’t.

I know how to win because I’m a winner. I’ve made righting great again. You deserve great riting like me. The carnage is going to stop write here and right now. Trust me, there’s carnage.  And it’s going to stop. I’ll be the one stopping it. Me. Not those losers who lost. Bad (or sick) guys!

Therefore, I hear by declare myself the supremest riter of great writing. Thank you!

copyright © 2017 little ittys

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